When I went through my divorce, my two children and I returned to my pre-marriage home, which we had been renting out. The 800-square-foot cottage is cozy for two, but a bit cramped for three. My 13-year-old son took the smaller bedroom, while my 9-year-old daughter and I settled into the larger one.
As they grew older—my son entering high school and my daughter moving into middle school—they both yearned for their own space and a bit more independence.
But living in Denver, one of the priciest cities in the U.S., made moving to a larger home unfeasible. My son couldn’t cover both his car expenses and rent from his part-time lifeguarding job. So, he decided to move in with my 77-year-old mother for his senior year of high school.
Now, he enjoys the freedom of a spacious bedroom and full bathroom in her finished basement, which also features a laundry area, gym, and living room. Living with his grandmother allows him to save on rent while still having his own space.
When he moved in, my mom set clear expectations for household contributions. He has been cooking dinner for her a few nights each week and assisting with cleaning and other chores. This arrangement has been an excellent lesson in responsibility for him, and my mom appreciates the extra help.
The dynamic has positively impacted my relationship with my son. We’ve established boundaries that help navigate the fine line between living at home and full independence. He no longer needs to consult me for every plan but has learned to manage his schoolwork and household tasks.
Now, he effectively organizes his time to spend with friends without me needing to remind him about homework or chores.
After a couple of months in this arrangement, my son’s confidence blossomed. As graduation approached, he began balancing school, work, and household responsibilities more adeptly. We engaged in meaningful discussions about his future. Previously, he was uncertain about attending college, often expressing concerns about debt. However, with his newfound independence, he articulated his anxieties more clearly.
Ultimately, he has decided to enroll in an affordable local community college this fall, with plans to transfer to a university next year. I’m pleasantly surprised that he made such a mature decision on his own.
This unique living arrangement has proven beneficial for all of us. My son has gained invaluable independence, our relationship has improved, and my mom has practical assistance in her home.
Encouraging parents to think creatively about living situations for older teens can be advantageous. My son’s experience has provided him with a taste of adult living, while my daughter is thrilled to have her own space to enjoy.